Thursday, March 27, 2008
i abandon the route to the lock.
but why there are some aching feeling deep down still.
it has been long abandon for quite sometime alr.
i really wonder.
its just some special sad feelings time and again.
recurring again and again.
recurrent backaches and headaches are back.
im sick-to-be.
damm.
8:35 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
seriously i wanna fly fly fly.
i love the feeling of flyin overseas.
i enjoy looking at how different people of different countries live life.
its different. a different kind of exposure.
nxt stop taiwan redang or hongkong.
any takers.
its time to save up luhs!(:
10:25 AM
Monday, March 24, 2008
I'm filling a spaceBurning a chapter of your life
This was the place that only you would know
Walking away
Watching the ashes as they fall
at times i really wonder what am i thinking.
one moment i made up my mind to do something,
the next moment i just shut the decision real shut.
its like the compass losing the needle.
and there i go thinking back of how i come thus far.
only realising nothing i do has ever been in my way.
nothing i do or have to do actually makes me happy.
was my life deem to be swayed like how the wind blows the leaf on the trees.
or my life lies in my hands for me to manipulate.
so many getting used to issues just got to be swaggered away due to circumstances.
then i cum thinking if many a time wad we do is just a form of gettin used to.
like eatin our meals at certain timing cos we are used to eating.
like having to bath cos we are used to being clean and smelling nice.
i don like the feeling of gettin used to doing something and yet
on the other hand the next moment i just got to get used to not doin wad im used to do.
i really wonder if love is an everyday thing everyday routine.or was it jus another used to phase of life.
know not wad im thinking?
i guess i cant figure it out myself either.
too much words unspoken too much hurt to be heal.
i will just find a way out of life.
a routinal life that is.
有些事要自己做，有些苦要自己尝，有些路一个人走
nobody knows how much i feel deep down the moment i saw the words above.
it has been there for weeks but i just couldnt find the words to descirbe how much i feel.
mixed feelings i would say.many thoughts just pop up in my head.
especially the last phrase.
i guess it didnt dawned onto him,
even till now i still wished i could walk the unsteady path down the future.
but then i guess it doesnt matter much.
the changes are too much to be changed.
at times i stil think if ure still thinking of me.
innocence long gone.
too much hurt
too much pride swept.
long since i abandoned the route to ur heart.
for i kept gettin lost in the maze u set up
the fences and ledges u fenced up.
u used to make me brave
but now u make me more afraid then never.
but im gotta heed wad u say 9 mths back
linlin,i wan you to be strong.
i don wan to see u like this.
i have been tryin real hard.
really really hard.
one day i will just be strong.
i wil be the strong girl u never known.
i wil be the strong girl u never known.
10:04 AM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
dead beat.
boring life boring routine shit.
break free.libertion soon luhs.
the warm and cosy feel of having someone missin you is nice.
i miss my frens and im glad they miss me too!(:
hey hey you you.
the guy who can make my heart skip a beat.
where are you.
been long since i got that feeling luhs.
alright alright.
just being random luhs!
alright nights pple!
time for bed!(:
9:33 PM
Friday, March 21, 2008
where has innocence gone.
i wonder.
10:00 PM
Thursday, March 20, 2008
i really cannot take it luhs.
i cant take it faking the passion towards the project that i have luhs.
its really gettin out of hand.
3 more weeks to presentation yet i seek no help.
not even my supervisor.
and the project makes me feel stupid.
damm.
the stress is building yet i can seek any remedy.
now i noe why i like to slp so much nowadays.
not just becos im tired physically.
im emotionally and mentally tired too!!!):
everything everything.
im just not used to it luhs!
9:37 PM
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
sometimes i wished i have more faith and determination in doing the things i wanna undertake.
shall make it a habit then!(:
besides that lately i have been sleeping way too early.
but cant be blame luhs. i got school early in the morning the next day
and and i don wanna spend them on cab fares.
just one trip back school can already cost me like 10 bucks?!
boohoo!but im so glad that i din catch the cab for the whole of this week!
so proud of myself!(:
shall make it a habit then!(:
besides that lately i have been sleeping way too early.
but cant be blame luhs. i got school early in the morning the next day
and and i don wanna spend them on cab fares.
just one trip back school can already cost me like 10 bucks?!
boohoo!but im so glad that i din catch the cab for the whole of this week!
so proud of myself!(:
but on a sidenote:
i totally dislike goin to school luhs.
im lonely luhs.i miss my clsmates.
i miss my frens.i don like doin things alone.
projects supposed to be done in grps or pairs.
but i had none.
arghs!!can anyone understand how i feel not?
any kind soul wanna text me time and again to cheer me on .
sighs.10 weeks faster fly fly fly luhs!
):
to JO!
i wan steamboat and shoppin session!
pay day pay day!!!!(:
and and yun's big day!!(:
to eve estee and evon.
i stil wanna meet u guys luhs.
i may be busy but im always free after 6 on weekdays!!(:
9:16 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I forgot how it felt like, to be really happy.
The devil stole my joy.
for The world is a big bad wolf in a sheep's disguise.
How ugly.
yes i passed i passed!
im like so over the moon at 12 plus just now luhs!
i gotten my results and thank god i passed.
includin the paper that i blanked out.
im like the happiest kid luhs.(:
meanin 10 more weeks to endure for my fyp!
yeah yeahs.and because i don wanna be late fore school or oversleep.
i went to watch 2 dvd and forced myself awake and only slping for an hour plus.!
and im now a living zombie luhs!!): ): ):
*evon darling.
one day we will know wad we wan luhs.
i will always be there for you!(:
much loves.
It's been hitting me lately; the past.
Everything from his recent physical and emotional bereavement,
to what was one year ago.
It's hitting me so bad i seem to be thrown off balanced.
but now no longer.
the determination is stronger den ever.
9:09 AM
Monday, March 17, 2008
"Whenever I feel lonely and dejected, I look up at the sky and remind myself that every Ferris wheel cart has a chance to touch the heavens.The wheel goes round and round bringing us up and down, up and down in this amusement ride we call life."
i always wanted to close down this blog luhs.
am gettin more and more bored and tired and lazy to blogg already luhs.
just yesterday i was tellin a colleague tt im sad.
but upon asked why i ended up telling him.
i don even noe why am i sad why am i feelin this way for i don understand
im happy im sad im glum im neutral.
how am i feeling i dono.
im jus tired tts for sure!(:
i need more more more sleep!!
for fyp and work is drainin me!
payday in a weeks time!
steamboat soon!(:
i craves for tt all the time lahs!!!HAHS
1:57 PM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
101th post.
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
the weather has been really bad these days.
i totally dislike it when i have to wake up early to go to school.
yups.another wasted day spent in school.
and once again i hate her i hate fyp):
the time drews nearer.
and i get all so confused.
i dono if i shud get it or not.
i need to make myself busy to forget abit it.
let the time passes by.
i don wan it this way.
but i jus wan to get out of the circle.
all i wan is you to be happy.
while im tryin hard to let it all go.
and seriously speaking.
i don look forward to my birthday anyway.
i guess it will jus be any day when i wil let it fly by.
its jus goin to be any other day.
nothing special and all i wan is tings to get better.
i just wan to be happy once again.
9:18 PM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
100th posts.
dono why i needed an avenue to vent out my emotions
yet most of the time when i needed it the most i jus can type them down.
it has becum a chore to do all these.
i seems to be shutting all the avenues to vent them all out.
im tired mentally and physically.
i wan very much to slp.
sriously 11pm to 7am jus aint enuff for me luhs.
and life is so routinal since im back from thai.
sch from 830 till 6 and at the end of the day is back home.
den weekends is time for work.
i get real tired luhs.
maybe i will jus quit and scrimp as i try to handle the money affairs.
shall see how it goes luhs.
i tink i shud jus go rest and slp.
and i seriously dono like this certain person who scolded me today.
neh neh.
if not for my good,i would jus yell back at you.
i dread fyp luhs):
10:46 PM
Saturday, March 8, 2008
its has been a while since i last blogged.
i wanted so much to abandon this blog.
but the emotions deep down make me run wild.
i tot the getaway was for me to forget everything.
but instead it make me realise that i will always be back to reality.
i kept thinking kept pondering.
till the time im tired.
i really don wann think anymore.
school fyp is killin is torturing.
results is goin to be out soon.
nerve wrecking.
i reap wad i sow.
sudden love the adrenaline rush i get
whenever my dad tried to speed
i want to drive.
i shall start plannin when to get my btt now!
i wana to drive. i wan to speed.
alright tt sounds bad!!HAHAS!
10:59 PM